...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
