And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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