I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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