i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Duck Duck Cougar?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
God I need to hump something, right now.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
