it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
