i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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