I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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