please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
