she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
