the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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