How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
