what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Life is so much better after having sex.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
