Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
