i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
