what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
