Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
