the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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