Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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