the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
