I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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