no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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