Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
