I just saw a hot homeless man
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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