so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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