You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
