Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize