omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
