Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
im six kinds of drunk right now
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
