he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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