And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
