This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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