So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
