I want to make a zoo with you.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize