We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
