Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
