I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
