I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
