haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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