uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
