I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
