Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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