I heard we made out
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
