I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
