someone get that fucking seahorse.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Randomize
