there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
