i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Couch. On fire.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
