i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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