I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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