Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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