The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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