We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
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I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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