I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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