I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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