he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
