I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
