Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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