Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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