i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
