Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
