some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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