508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
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That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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