Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
