naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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