final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
