why didn't you poke me back
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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